The old railroad

Can you post an atmospheric piece of writing about the old railroad? Remember what we’ve said about creating tension and atmosphere: include vivid descriptions of colours and the weather, show don’t tell and choose verbs and adjectives for maximum impact. I’m looking forward to being gripped from the start….

18 thoughts on “The old railroad

  1. It was dark. Fear of the ink-black night flooded me. The night stared at me if I was strange. I bet you’re wondering, Where are you? Well, I’m on the old railroad, where people drowned in there own fear! Rab is here, and he always goes whenever he wants! I hate that. But one night when I woke up from a nightmare, things changed… Me mam confessed: Rab got killed by the black horse! Oh its teeth were like razor blades and its eyes were as white as snow. I never went near it again…

    1. Thanks Libbi – I’ll add a stamp on the blog log πŸ™‚ You’ve included some super magpieing from ‘Nightmare’

  2. It was a dark night -nothing to see and all you could hear was the crunching of leaves under your feet. When Michael began to realise things weren’t normal he thought to himself it’s too quiet and he mainly wondered where everyone was when suddenly…

  3. I was approving to the greasy, moldy forest where it was fresh slimy blood slithering everywhere. I scuttle Like a bull following the wine blood . I finally arrived to this railway that was cracked like a spine preparing for death! There was a bang. BANG! There it went again. I rolled myself into a ball and that I was petrified . The sky was turning black as ink. I scraped my nail across the railway that it was poisoness that I became death. It was running to my beating heart , my voice ran away, my breath got swallowed that everything died ! Why did I even enter the forest? Why…

    1. You’ve created some super images. Have another read of your post though as you’ve used ‘that’ in some funny places. If you get time, have a go at editing it…

  4. Mrs Larkin I was wondering if we can do writing competition and whoever wins get like 5raffleticks etc. I would like to do this because I love writing and it helps us. I thought of this because we have a school doing writing but we don’t do it in classes and like you can do a list what we should put in our writing before the write
    Hope you say yes because this might help us with the writing we have done with the Nightmare story, the forest on the blog and the railway.

    Thank you for listening hope you get some good beauty rest ! Bye πŸ˜‡πŸ˜Š

        1. I think there will be a blogging competition for all classes towards the end of the summer term. I’ll have a little think about how we might do a class competition…

  5. Awful Avalanches! *summary*

    An avalanche is a wave of death! It plummets down mountains in minutes and causes destruction in seconds. These avalanches also cause severe injuries or even life changing ones. The avalanches are at: Europe, France, Canada or North America. They don’t occur with sound of voice but with sudden body weight! Warning signs are for your safety, I’m predicting people ignore them because 1/3 people survive and 150 people die a year from it! There are two types of avalanches- sluff and slab. Sluff is a soft, powdery and lump free snow; sluff isn’t as harmful as slab. Speaking of slab, slab is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE to sluff its clumpy and rough snow and bacteria full! I wonder why they’re so deadly?

    1. Thanks for independently choosing to summarise our learning on avalanches πŸ™‚ I’ll add a stamp on the blog log. Now that we’ve had some more teaching on using : and ; do you want to change any of your sentences? πŸ˜‰

  6. CREEK!!!! The railway was snapping: we were going to crash! Hurrying to get out of the woods, the train travelled at the speed of light because underneath lies a gargantuan lake snided with crocodiles…
    “Slow down,” I screech at the climax of my voice ,”the rail’s going to collapse!” The train stopped with a sudden jolt forwards . Planks of wood plummeted into the water right before our eyes;saddly, we were stuck!
    Will
    we
    live ?

    1. Thanks for your post, Amelia πŸ™‚ I see you’re still using some of your favourite words from last year (climax and gargantuan!) πŸ˜†

  7. Mrs I had to have ago !!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I enjoyed seeing you the other day I’ve missed you so much I hope I see you again soon xx

    1. 🀣 You’re welcome on the blog anytime as well as back at school. It was lovely to see you too πŸ™‚

  8. The night skies were somber and starless.
    As the bloodcurdling atmosphere gave me a spine-chilling fright, I was in two minds of the impact of doing this

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